


do you know who you are?

by jasisst00pid



Series: beautiful, beautiful boy. [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Ron Weasley, Eventual Relationships, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Healer Hermione Granger, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Professor Draco Malfoy, Professor Harry Potter, Professor Neville Longbottom, Quidditch Player Ginny Weasley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasisst00pid/pseuds/jasisst00pid
Summary: All of his life itd been ‘Harry do this’ and ‘Harry be that’ and finally, he was free. Was he really though? Was he truly free? It didn’t feel like it. They’d won but they’d lost so much. Fred, Remus, Tonks, and hundreds of other just to win. Maybe he wasn’t the boy who lived after all. Maybe he was just the boy who lost. The boy who was lost.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley
Series: beautiful, beautiful boy. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059125
Comments: 3
Kudos: 70





	1. welcome home.

He’d won. Blimey, Harry had actually won a war. He’d died, not for long, and he won, they all won. It felt like he could breathe for the first time. All of his life itd been ‘Harry do this’ and ‘Harry be that’ and finally, he was free. Was he really though? Was he truly free? It didn’t feel like it. They’d won but they’d lost so much. Fred, Remus, Tonks, and hundreds of others just to win. Maybe he wasn’t the boy who lived after all. Maybe he was just the boy who lost. The boy who was lost.

As much as Harry had hated his easy recognizability, the expectations of the entire wizarding world on his shoulders, he found himself wanting to go back. Not because he wanted a war, merlin no, he never wanted a war. Harry wanted to go back for one reason, one simple reason. He knew who he was then. The chosen one, the boy who lived, the savior of the wizarding world. What was he now? A hero, they tell him. The next best Auror. Harry’s stomach feels sick at the thought of another fight. Being an Auror, well it meant he’d be fighting the rest of his life wouldn’t he? He’s been fighting for eighteen years, he doesn’t suppose he can do it any longer, he doesn’t want to. 

Distantly Harry feels someone sit next to him and shakes him out of his thoughts. He’s sitting outside the Weasleys newly built borough, feeling a bit too empty and quiet without Fred. Soft damp grass is between his toes, under his bare feet and he sighs. Ginny knocks her elbow against his and he finally looks over at her. “Doin alright there?” Harry smiles gently at her. After they’d won, a few months ago now, Ginny had pulled him aside and explained that losing Fred made her see how short life is, and how she didn’t want to spend a second of it not loving Luna. Harry had hugged her then, and now she rests her head on his shoulder. “I don’t know to tell you the truth,” he says after a few beats pass. ”Tell me about it?” And it’s soft, gentle and not demanding, Harry feels safe and warm so he does. He explains how not having a prophecy to fulfill anymore feels odd, how he doesn’t know who he his, and how he doesn’t want to fight anymore. 

“Then don’t.” Ginny says bluntly and it takes Harry off guard and he snorts. “I’m serious Harry, we all know life is fleeting and we shouldn’t spend it regretting the things we do or don’t do. You’d make a fine auror, but if you’ll remember fifth year, you make a brilliant teacher,” Ginny finished and he just stared at her, she was looking out at the horizon. “Defense against the dark arts,” comes out of his mouth before he can process it. “You fought Voldemort for seven years Harry. You lived through it, you kept your friends alive through it, who better to protect the next generation? Personally I couldn’t think of a better professor for my future children.” He just gapes at Ginny for a moment before he hugs her. “Thank you Gin.” 

It isn’t until three day’s before term starts that Harry tells Ron and Hermione. “I’m going back to Hogwarts for an eighth year,” he states bluntly. Ron looks a bit surprised and Hermione looks incredibly satisfied with herself. “Thought the Aurors said you didn’t have to, mate,” Ron questions lightly and Harry runs a hand through his dark wavy hair. “I can’t be an Auror,” Harry let’s out, a bit too loud. “Oh thank Merlin!” They hear, following a crash in the kitchen and a few moments later Molly is pulling him out of his chair and hugging him. “I’d be so worried for you,” She whispers and Harry hugs back as tight as she is.

  
Harry doesn’t realize he’s crying until Molly wipes a tear from his cheek, he doesn’t realize Ron and Hermione have joined the hug until then either. Molly heads back to the kitchen after kissing his forehead, Hermione tenderly takes his face into her hands and wipes away the tears that don’t want to stop falling. “We want you to be safe and happy,” Hermione whispers as Ron places a hand on his shoulder. “No matter what,” the ginger haired boy finishes for his girlfriend. Harry feels lighter than he has in years, hopeful even. He can’t remember the last time he’d felt hopeful for his own future, always figured he’d die before then. 

So, for the last time the Golden Trio boards the Hogwarts express as students. Ron is almost positive he wants to be an Auror, he feels a fierce sense of needing to protect innocent people from losing their lives like Fred, or losing their families like him and Teddy, but he comes along anyways. Says he wants a last normal year, but they all know he can’t bear the thought of sending Hermione back to the sight of the battle, where she almost died, where they all almost died, all alone. Ever the protective one, Ron was.

While on the run the thing Hermione sorely missed was school, she’d missed learning, her professors though some of them weren’t coming back, most of all she’d missed feeling like she was earning her spot in the world. The train ride itself was a bit eventful, little kids, first through third years gathered outside their door, wanting to see the Saviour himself. Hermione had conjured a few curtains to block them out and they’d gone to bother someone else. In their cabin contained the trio, Ginny, Luna and Neville, it was a tad bit cramped but Harry felt at home. These were his people, his friends, his family. 

At some point their conversation had turned to the future, something they’d never actually spoken of before. Ginny was going to be trying out for the Holyhead Harpies, she was after all the best chaser Hogwarts had seen in decades. Luna dreamed of being a magizoologist, Hermione a healer, Ron an auror, which left Neville and Harry, neither of which had shared yet.

“IwanttobeaherbologistprogessoratHogwarts,” Neville lets out in a rush, stunning them all a bit. “It suits you,” Luna states simply, the rest agreeing. “Maybe we’ll work together then, Nev,” Harry says with a smile. Neville, ever unsure of himself looks up from where he was staring at his hands and smiles. “Defense against the Dark Arts, Harry?” Luna asks in her dreamy, warm voice, Harry nods. “You’ll be the best Hogwarts has ever seen,” Neville says and knocks his knee against Harry’s own. “And you’ll give Professor Sprout a run for her money.” Ron chimes in, Neville positively beams. 

When they arrive, the thestrals are waiting for them. It pains him to see how many students are going up to them, curious, and petting them. He thinks thestrals know about the ones that can see him, they’d always been particularly sweet to him, especially the babies. They’d come and rest their heads on his lap, find him in the forest when he’d go and cry, they’d bring him small odd presents including flowers, scarves, bugs and one time Fangs collar. Now they would nuzzle the hands of students, seeming to understand the heartbreak they all felt.

Above the crowd, having had grown a few inches over the summer Harry spots Hagrid and breaks out into a smile. He wrestles his way through the crowd and makes his way to his friend, Hagrid wrapping him in a hug immediately. “Harry, my boy! I’ve missed you,” The half giant says when they break apart. “I’m so glad to see you, Hagrid.” The ride to the castle is with Hagrid, Neville and Harry himself, pulled by a thestral that had recognized Harry and nuzzled him as he slipped it a treat.

As he enters the Great Hall, he spots a few now seventh years standing still as a statue next to each other. Harry walks next to them and lays his hand on the shoulder of one of them before standing to face them. “It is, so incredibly brave for you all to be here. I know it’s hard, just know you have someone in your corner, someone to talk to if you need it. Always,” Harry says, a bit unsure of what had possessed him to say this. He wasn’t well adjusted himself, his hands began to shake at the sight of the forest, Luna had held his hand to walk in with him and the sickness in his stomach toned down from her.

One of the seventh years, Theo, he distantly remembers his name, steps up a bit unsure, and then he’s hugging him. “Thank you for saving my mother,” he whispers and Harry’s heart breaks a little. “You all take care of yourselves alright? Friends are the way to live through this,” and with that he joins his own friends at the Gryffindor table. Professor, Headmistress he corrects himself, Mcgonagall meets his eyes as he takes his seat and smiles, he can’t help but smile back. The feast goes off with out a hitch, that is until there’s a commotion at the Slytherin table. 

Harry looks up to see a few students, must be fourth or fifth years crowded around someone. They seem angry and he excuses himself to his friends to see what they’re doing. A platinum blonde head of hair sticks out of the middle of the crowd, unmoving and Harry’s heart stops for a moment. Draco. Draco who saved him, Draco who he’d saved, Draco who didn’t have a choice. Draco who he’d almost killed. Draco who avoided Azkaban thanks to his testimony. Before he really even makes the decision he’s standing behind the crowd and clears his throat. He hears a few insults thrown, accusations, words of people that have lost and need someone to blame thrown, they all halt when he says “Oi, go back to your table. Now.” The younger gryffindors look up at him, shocked before they disperse.

Draco looks up at him, he looks hollow, like everything that made up the Draco Malfoy he knew was washed away. “You didn’t have to do that,” Draco says, Harry sighs and sits across from him, feeling stares at his back. “I know. I wanted to. Just like I didn’t have to speak at your trial, I wanted to. You went through the same war as me, I don’t think you wanted any of it, and after sixth year I don’t think you’re the same person you were.”

A smile tugs at Draco's mouth, a small one, like he’s almost forgotten how to smile. “You aren’t either, are you?” Comes his response, Harry shakes his head. “None of us are. Perhaps the new Harry and Draco could make amends,” He says, once again without thinking. Draco looks a bit stunned. “You called me Draco.” Harry huffs a laugh. “I think, I think i’d like to be friends with you. Harry.” The blonde boy says and Harry smiles. “I’d like that,” with that he stands and returns to his seat. 

When he sits, his friends question him silently thankfully, just casting a few looks. Luna however smiles at him. “You’re very kind,” is all she says. “I learned it from you,” Harry responds and Luna smiles at him. Before he knows it the feast is over, and Mcgonagall is standing at the podium. “Students,” she begins. “I would like to first and foremost thank you for coming back. I know that it is incredibly difficult for so many of you to see this place, let alone return to it. Many of you have lost loved ones, I offer my condolences for this. To the students and teachers that fought last year, I would like to sincerely thank you, Hogwarts has been my home most of my life and thanks to the bravery and hearts of you, it stands to this day.” She clears her throat, Harry thinks she’s getting a bit choked up, he is himself.

“Hogwarts is home for me, as I imagine it is to you. It is important now that we stick together, just as we did then. We must lean on one another for support. Many of our professors will be offering office hours, which can be used for help with course work of course, but also may be used to talk to someone. I would like each and every one of you to know that you are not alone. Not while you are here.” The headmistress looks at Harry now.

“To the Slytherins that have returned,” he almost hears everyone take a breath. “There will be a no tolerance policy for targeting and bullying against you. Students that disobey this will be faced with reduction of house points and detention. If you are here, you have begun to make your amends and the staff at Hogwarts will protect you as the rest of our students.” 

Harry looks over to Draco now, he looks surprised, in the best way. He looks as if a weight has been lifted. “Lastly,” Mcgonagall continues, “Eighth year students returning to complete their education will be housed in the guest rooms of the school, common rooms will of course be open to all of you. I do not wish to make this adjustment more difficult for you, but with the damage the school has taken there is sadly no room for you in your houses dormitories. You may room with who you wish, same gender of course. And I- I would just like to thank all of you,” she looks at Harry again. “All of you for coming home once again.” The grand hall erupts into clapping, various cheers and Mcgonagall smiles. “Now go on, to your rooms with you lot! This term will not be easy and we expect the best from all of you!” She steps down from the podium as students begin to exit the hall. 

Ron and Hermione stand and he smiles at them. “I’ll meet you there,” he says and heads to the front of the hall. Mcgonagall is speaking to Filch when he walks up, who finishes their conversation and walks away. “Harry,” she says softly. Before he can say anything he’s being wrapped into a hug. “I am so glad for you to be home.” She whispers and he hugs back a bit tighter before they break apart. “I’m glad to be home, professor. Being headmistress suits you.” Mcgonagall smiles at him. “Your parents would be so proud of you,” she starts walking to the door, Harry walks with her. “Mister Black and Lupin would be too, I know. What you did for us, what you went through will not be forgotten. I, I am always going to be so proud of you Harry, you’ve grown to be an outstanding young man.”

They’ve reached the door now and Harry realizes that Professor Mcgonagall has been as much of a parent to him as Sirius. “Professor, may i ask something of you?” Harry asks, his mind going to the future. “Anything Mister Potter.” He takes a beat before he begins. “I would like to follow in the steps of Remus. I would like to earn my place and become a professor here, possibly of defense against the dark arts. Could you give me any advice on how to go about this?”

Minerva proceeds to tell him about how he will need to complete a NEWT in the subject as he already held an owl in it, achieving an O in it preferably and would need to gain life experience for two years before applying. He could study under any past professors, of Hogwarts or not. Once she finished informing him, she leaned down and lowered her voice a bit. “But Harry, you will always have a place at Hogwarts as long as I am headmistress. Personally i’d be grateful to have you as the schools professor for defense against the dark arts, I know you would do well. Just as I know you’d prefer to earn your place here.”


	2. the thestrals.

For the first time in Harry’s life at Hogwarts, he hadn’t been fighting for his life and he actually had time, he had the will to study. Turns out Harry James Potter wasn’t just the boy who lived, he was bloody bright. Not only was he passing his classes, he was sailing through them, working his tail off and for once wasn’t behind. It felt like his first normal year here.

Not only was he doing well academically, he’d made time for his friends and even gone to visit Teddy, who was living with Andromeda, a couple times in his first month back. It was nice. He felt like a person. Of course, he still wasn’t exactly okay. He’d wake up sweating, sometimes woke Ron up with his screams. Sometimes Ron woke him with his own screams. Those nights they’d simply set a light and Harry would dig up his muggle cd player and they’d listen to music until they both fell asleep again. 

They had sort of kept their agreement to become friends, him and Draco. It was difficult, a lot of history filled with hurt. One day Harry can look back and think of the day it changed, the day it clicked into place. Sometime in early October, as it was getting cold, he could feel the winter coming, Harry had wandered down to the lake. He’d enjoyed how quiet it was, how no curious first years found him here, he’d sit with his back against a tree and study. That’s exactly what he’d done today, he was finishing up his latest essay for DADA when someone came and sat next to him, out of his peripheral he saw that it was Draco. They sit in relative silence until he finishes his essay, rolling the parchment and shoving it into his bag, he leans back against the tree.

“I used to come here back in sixth year,” Draco says suddenly, Harry hums and shoves a stray curl back behind his ear. “It’s quiet here, peaceful even,” Harry replies easily. “Are you heading to Hogsmeade this weekend?” The blonde boy asks, sounding a bit unsure of himself. “Nah, I was thinking of going to visit Teddy, my godson,” the gryffindor boy replies easily, Draco looks at him a bit confused. “He’s Remus’ son. Lives with his gramma Andromeda.” He hears Draco snort. “I know that you dolt, he’s my cousin. Jus didn’t realize you were his god father.” 

“I think Teddy would like to meet you, Draco,” Harry says, unsure if he’s overstepping his bounds. “Someday, maybe I’ll go with you to see him. Still some things I need to make amends for.” He says quietly. Harry smiles gently and knocks their knees together. “I’ll take you, when you’re ready.” They don’t say anything else for a while, Draco pulls a book out of his bag and sketches.

Harry watches, his mind swirling with thoughts as it often does. He’s not old enough to raise a kid, he’s so grateful for Andromeda. But Andromeda, she’s old, one day her time will come. Harry thinks, if Teddy is still underage he’ll take him then. God, he loves that kid. He’s got all the life in him of his mother, all the love for sweets of his father. Kids sharp as a tack already, calls him ‘Unca Harry’ every time. Runs to him and when Harry lifts him, Teddys hair goes long, black and curly, just like Harry’s. One time, there were three lightening strikes on his forehead, just like Harry. He thinks of his life now, once school ends he thinks he’ll study under Slughorn. Slughorn who'd suggested offhandedly that one day, Harry should write a book. Not an autobiography, a text book, for defense against the dark arts. Harry thinks he’d like to do that very much.

Suddenly a book is pushed into his lap, open to the page Draco was sketching on. It’s of a thestral where he was sat, from the side with the landscape of the lake behind him. “It’s amazing,” he whispers and Draco chuckles. They sit in silence for a while after that, it’s a Friday and their classes are all finished for the day, so they have nowhere to be. “You know, I can see the thestrals now,” Draco mentions offhandedly. Harry decides not to pity him, Draco wouldn’t like pity.

“They’re incredibly kind animals. Luna and I go visit them from time to time, they like raw beef a lot.” Draco looks at him for a second before standing up, holding his hand out to Harry, who takes it and is pulled up. “Where in the hell do I get raw beef?” Harry chuckles at the question and picks up his bag. “The kitchens,” he starts to lead the way.

When they walk into the portrait out thirty house elves surround them, asking what they need. “Kreacher is Harry Potters elf! Not you!” Kreacher yells over them and pushes his way to the front. “Hey Kreach, you doin well today?” Harry asks and let’s Kreacher lead him and Draco to the other side of the room. “Much better now that you’re here Harry! Kreacher has become very accustomed to seeing you every day over the summer, Kreacher does miss you!” Harry chuckles and digs in his bag for a moment before pulling out a bag of taffy, Kreacher favorite they’d discovered.

He and Kreacher had grown to become quite close, he’d tried a million times to give Kreacher clothes but he’d refused to take them and insisted, he liked it fine just where he was. That Harry Potter was the kindest master he’d ever had. Harry hands Kreacher the taffy and Kreacher breaks into a smile. “Happy birthday, Kreach!” Harry says and Kreacher hugs his leg. “Thank you very much Harry! Let me guess, here for beef?” Draco snorts and Kreacher ignores him.

“Oh yes, you do know me so well Kreach.” The elf disappears for a moment before reappearing with two bags in his hand. “Now this one is beef and this one is apples, these are just from Kreacher, would you tell the thestrals that?” Harry smiles and takes the bags. “Of course, i’ll make sure to tell you how much they like them.” And with that Draco and Harry leave the kitchens. 

“You were awfully quiet in there,” Harry says on their walk to the forest. Draco inhales deep. “They knew Dobby. All of them.” The memory of holding Dobby as he died floods back and Harry sighs. “Dobby was a good friend,” Harry says, willing tears not to prick at his eyes. Draco huffs a small laugh. “Whenever I’d get into it with my dad he’d bring me a cupcake. Every time till you freed him, thankfully.” Draco smiles at him now and Harry just, takes in his beautiful Draco really is. How his soul is healing and becoming as beautiful as the outside, seeing how he’s a good person, how he’s changing.

“I’d wanted to free him a million times truthfully, but” He cuts himself off and readjusts his bag on his shoulder. “Your father?” Harry asks, Draco just nods gently. He just hums in agreement. Before he knows it they’re at the thestrals grounds. A small one, couldn’t be more than a month old, walks up to them on shaky legs, Harry gives him a small cut of beef. His favorite one, though he’d never admit it, was actually the one that brought him to the castle all those years ago. Luna had named her Florence for some reason, Florence walks over to him now and nuzzles his hand as he pets her. “Hey sweet girl,” Harry whispers. 

The small one had taken quite a liking to Draco, walking between his legs and nearly knocking him over. Draco sits down to avoid falling and allows the baby to crawl into his lap and feeds him an apple. Harry sits next to him, Florence laying next to him, now nuzzling his thigh. Harry takes Draco's wrist gently and lays it on her nose. Draco smiles at her. “This is Florence,” Draco chuckles at that. “Luna named her I’m guessing?” Florence nips an apple from their bag. “Luna names all of them, I can only ever remember Florence though. Took me to the ministry that night, heh, nearly bit Dumbledore cause she wanted to take me back too.” Draco hums and pulls away from Florence gently.

“What is it with you and animals? Seems like you attract them or something.” This makes Harry chuckle too, he’d heard this a million times from Luna and Hagrid. “Couldn’t tell you, amazes Luna and Hagrid though. Back when I’d live with my Aunt and Uncle there were these stray neighborhood cats I’d always see. I’d bring them table scraps and more than once I’d wake and find one of them on my windowsill. They never did like the Dursley’s funnily enough.”

As it begins to get dark, and after the thestrals have eaten all their supply the boys start to walk back to the castle. And if their hands brush a few times, and Harry’s heartbeat picks up a little, no one needs to know that. “Think you could help me study for potions sometime next week?” Harry asks as they reach the hall that leads to their respective dorms. “Only if you help me with my defense essay,” Draco replies smoothly as they reach the portrait. When they enter the eighth year common room, they see a bit of a foreign sight. Pansy Parkinson sitting with Neville, not just sitting with him, laughing with him seeming to ignore the studying they had to do.

Ron and Hermione share a chair next to the couch they occupy, leaving another couch open across from Neville and Pansy. “Lo Harry,” Neville greets him as he sits. “Hey Nev, workin on herbology?” Neville snorts. “More like saving Pansy from failing,” Neville gets a sharp elbow in his side and an offended laugh from Pansy. Draco sits stiffly next to Harry. Draco has yet to apologize to Ron and Hermione. He had however apologized to Neville, they were oddly enough quick friends. 

They all sit and chat for about half an hour before Draco actually speaks. “Not to ruin the mood but,” Harry looks over to him, Draco's looking at Ron and Hermione. “I owe you two so many apologies. Hermione, I am so terribly sorry for the things I did. I should never have called you _those_ names, I have no excuses. It was a terrible thing to do, I treated you horribly for so many years and I am so sorry.” He’s looking at his hands now. Hermione gets up and stands in front of him. Draco braces himself for a slap, instead a hand is extended to him. Unsure, but with a nudge from Harry he takes it and they shake hands. “Thank you, Draco. I do not excuse what you did, nor will I forget. But I accept and appreciate your apology. I would like to make amends with you.” Draco smiles gently as she takes her seat.

Everyone is quiet as he continues. “Ronald, the insults I have thrown at you and your family were terribly wrong of me. I see now you are all very good people and I was, well an arse.” Harry snorts, Hermione throws a pillow at him. “I regret all of the things I have done to you, all of you.” Ron stays seated for a moment but stands and extends his hand. “Wasn’t always just you being an arse, mate. I’m sorry too.” Draco shakes his hand, Ron claps his hand on the back of his, seemingly sealing the deal. 

Just as Harry thinks Draco is done, Draco turns to Harry. “I know that we have made amends, but I have not apologized to you, Harry. I was cruel to you from the day I met you, trying to drag you into pureblood elitist bullshit. I- I hated being your rival, I really did. I am deeply sorry for everything I did to you, and I am so glad we’re friends now. I wish, I wish I had come to you when I needed help back then, I see now you could have and would have. I was just so scared for my family, for myself and thanks to you, all of you,” Draco looks at Ron, Hermione and Neville and then back at Harry.

“My mother and I are safe. Thanks to you, Harry, I got a second chance at my life.” Harry doesn’t shake his hand. He pulls him in for a hug. “I am so sorry for that day in the bathroom,” Harry whispers and a tear slips down Draco’s cheek. “Me too.” They break away and Pansy stares at her hands. “Harry,” she starts. “I’m not quite as eloquent as Draco, but while we’re at apologies, I would like to apologize for that day before the battle. I was terrified, but that’s no excuse.” Harry stands and extends his hand to her. “Past is in the past right?” He says sheepishly and she shakes his hand. 

After that day, apologies seem to be made all through their year. Draco apologizes profusely to Luna, and then Ginny. The rest of the eighth year Slytherins following his lead. The younger years are less forgiving, being less involved in the war. They’d all lost friends, siblings, parents, so many loved ones and they blamed the Slytherins, often targeting Draco. Once they realized Draco and Pansy were friends with Harry however, a lot of the hexes and dirty words thrown at them died down. Soon their friend group of the six of them, the trio, Ginny and Luna, and Neville expanded to eight, pulling in Draco and Pansy. It became a support group for them, a study group sometimes. They’d go to Hogsmeade together, study in the common room late at night.

Often they’d help each other with assignments and things. Draco helped with potions, Harry with Defense against the Dark arts as he had a lot of Remus’ old notes left to him in his will, and Neville with Herbology. Hermione helped with basically everything. Before they knew it it was halloween, and the feast had begun. It didn’t feel like it’d been six months since, since it happened. It had been though, and looking back Harry thinks he’s grown tremendously. 

A few weeks later Professor Sickawell, the new DADA professor asks Harry to stay after class. Harry doesn’t really know much about him, just that his first name is Henry. “Mister Potter, Ive heard a few rumors you’d like to become a defense against the dark arts professor yourself one day. Is this true?” Harry blanks a little, hope he doesn’t think he wants to take his job from him. Harry just nods, Professor Sickawell claps his hands together once. “Wonderful!” This reaction takes Harry by surprise a little.

“Harry as much as I adore this job, this place, I am getting old and I would very much like to retire one day, as would I like to trust the hands I give this classroom to.” Harry smiles at this. “Professor, may i ask, what did you do the two years before you could apply as a professor?” He inquires, setting his bag down on the floor next to him and sitting on the table. “I studied under my old professor actually. My, you’re very serious about this job aren’t you?” Sickawell sits across from him. “I am yes. Do you think, if it’s not too much trouble, you would consider letting me study under you?” The Professor seems to consider this for a moment. “Absolutely my boy. Who better to take my place than someone that actually knows how to fight these things we teach?” Harry chuckles lightly. “If you need any help studying for your NEWT, just let me know alright? After all, all those years ago I did tutor James into a passing grade miraculously.”

Harrys jaw hangs open a bit, he thinks. He doesn’t know. “I’m sorry did you just say James?” Is all that can come out of his mouth. “Yes, James Potter. He was my student, as well as his friends Sirius, Remus and” The professor blanks. “Well, the other one. I forget his name. Quite trouble makers those four, Remus though, boy always had a knack for this class. Not surprised he ended up teaching it.” Harry’s heart hurts at the mention of Remus and Sirius.

“I didn’t know you knew them,” Harry says and Sickawell smiles. “You remind me of them, Harry. In the best ways. Smart as Remus, I see. Hair like Sirius, maybe a bit wilder,” Harry chuckles. “And your father, you look so much like him, your mother too. You’ve got her eyes, though I’m sure you’ve heard that a million times,” Sickawell finishes and Harry feels warm, content that he’s like them. Sickawell stands and starts to walk Harry out. “They were good people, and I’ll be glad to hand my class to someone that would make them proud.” Harry shakes his hand. “Thank you, Professor.”

As their first term begins to wind to a close, Harry realizes he hasn’t given his presents to his friends he won’t see over the break yet. Course he’ll be seeing Ron and most likely Hermione. It’s a few days before they leave when he starts passing out presents. He’d gotten Luna a muggle mp3 player as shed liked his CD player so much, Neville a herbology book he’d noticed he rereads a million times from the library, Pansy a small jewelry box and they’d all appreciated them very much. The last gift, for Draco he’s held on to until today. They hadn’t hung out alone in quite a while and he wants to see his reaction.

He’d gotten Draco a new sketchbook, leather bound along with a few CD’s of Draco’s newly discovered favorite muggle band. Tonight though, it was a Saturday and it seemed everyone had plans except them, he’d have gone to see Teddy but Andromeda has taken him on a vacation for Christmas. The common room was blissfully empty tonight, Harry was snuggled into a comfy chair by the fire and reading until Draco came back. He’d said something about helping Luna with an assignment but he’d be by the common room later. 

Harry must’ve dozed because he wakes to someone removing his glasses. He mumbles something unintelligible and hears a familiar chuckle. “Just couldn’t stay up could ya, gramps?” Draco teases him and Harry yawns before faking a scowl. “Oh cmon, I’m only teasing,” Draco says with a laugh and gives him back his glasses. Harry wakes up a bit and smiles before digging in his bag. “Open it!” He says thrusting the package into Draco’s hands, Draco chuckles and unties the bow, letting the paper fall away. Harry sees his smile as he looks at the contents, and when he looks up at him. “This is so,” Draco sighs happily. “This is so thoughtful Harry, thank you.” Harry smiles at him and shrugs.

Draco rummages for a second and produces a medium sized package for him. “Open it you dolt,” Draco teases and shoves his leg, Harry chuckles and opens it. It’s a stack of books, the cover of the first reads ‘how to be a professor for dummies’ it’s clearly muggle and Harry laughs. The next is the complete history of Newt Scamander, he knows Newt always liked animals and smiles knowing that’s why Draco picked it. The next is a Brief history of time, it’s nice since he’s gotten into school he’s found physics very interesting.

The last one looks to be homemade, he opens it, curious and his breathe is a bit taken away. The first page is a drawing of Harry and their friends, the flips the pages to see portraits of all of them, drawings of thestrals, the quidditch pitch, Hagrid, Mcgonagall and the last page, it makes tears prick his eyes. It’s a drawing of Sirius and Remus, though Draco had only met Sirius once, the two of them waving and smiling. A tear slips down without his permission and he looks up at Draco, he can’t help it and pulls him into a tight hug. “Thank you,” He whispers into his ear and feels Draco nod. “Anything for you, Harry.” 


	3. shaking.

It's sometime in March when Harry can't sleep, not that it's surprising, he hasn't ever truly slept well. The trauma of the war made it worse, elevated his nightmares so he'd wake up screaming. Tonight it was one of his reoccurring dreams, watching Sirius fall through the veil followed by Remus jumping in after him. All he could do was stand and watch, tears streaming down his face, and then the dream changed. He was back in the forbidden forest, the spot he had died but Voldemort was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly he was surrounded by people, people he came to recognize as Fred, then Nymphadora Tonks, then Lavender, Collin, Remus, Sirius, and Dobby. "Why did you let us die, Harry?" Comes from Fred, Harry can't respond. "Why didn't you go earlier, Harry?" Lavender yells. "Why didn't you save us?" Collin asks, tugging at his sleeve. "Why did we die instead of you?" Tonks asks from behind him, he shivers. "We had a child, Harry. He's an orphan now, thanks to you." Remus says and Harry falls to his knees. Dobby is in front of him now. "Dobby thought we were friends, Harry Potter." Harry shakes, distantly aware he's screaming 'no' over and over again. "It was all your fault, Harry." Sirius says tilting his head up to look at him, his eyes go black and Harry screams.

Someone is shaking him, his eyes fly open with a gasp and he bolts upright, nearly knocking Ron off of his bed. "Bad one tonight, mate?" Ron asks softly, handing him his glasses. Harry's hands shake too bad and he drops them on the bed, Ron slides them gently onto his face for him. "Thanks," his voice is quiet and shaky, he wipes away tears from his face and sighs. "Did I wake you?" Harry asks, feeling guilty. Ron just rubs his shoulder. "Yeah, but that's alright." Harry's still shaking, he can't get it under control. "I think I'm gonna go get some tea, thanks for waking me," Harry says and stands, Ron stands with him and pulls him into a hug, Harry melts into it. "Course, mate. Try and get some sleep if you can alright?" Then they break apart.

Harry decides to head to the kitchens, when he gets there its peacefully empty and Kreacher pops in a moment later. "Nightmares again?" Kreacher asks as he magics a pot of water to the stove to make tea, Harry nods gently. His shaking has subsided some when Kreacher hands him his tea, thankfully under filled so he doesn't scorch himself with his shaking.

After he sits with Kreacher for a while, both of them drinking tea, he bids him goodnight and heads back to the common room. There's a blonde head of hair that he can see above the couch, Draco he thinks and smiles before sitting next to him. Draco sets his book face down on the coffee table when Harry sits, offering him half of his blanket. "Couldn't sleep?" Harry asks and Draco shakes his head. "Got tired of staring at my ceiling, you?" His friend asks and Harry sighs, his head thumping back onto the couch.

"Nightmares," is all he responds, Draco just nods. Draco doesn't pry, he never does, always lets Harry start talking about it if he wants, never pushes. "It was all of them tonight," Harry starts, he can feel Draco looking at him and stares at the ceiling. "They were all saying it was my fault, that it should've been me instead of them. That I should have surrendered earlier, that I could have saved them." Harry says and gulps air down, willing himself not to cry. A hand finds its way to his, intertwining their fingers. "You are," Draco says and Harry looks at him now. "You are so good, Harry," Draco tucks a stray curl behind Harry's ear with his free hand. "None of it was ever your fault," His hand lingers on Harry's face and for a moment he thinks he'll kiss him but then he's being pulled against Draco's chest.

Harry falls asleep like that, tucked into Draco and wakes up a few hours later to Draco snoring lightly, their hands still intertwined. He should get up, they should go to their beds, but something in him lets him go back to sleep, feeling safe and warm. Rarely enough Harry doesn't dream again that night.

Out of nowhere, it's NEWT season again and Harry studies until he passes out into his books. More often than not Draco finds him in the common room, dozing lightly into his work and chuckles fondly before managing to put him to bed. Harry spends hours studying with Slughorn, Hermione and Draco and somehow finishes all of his NEWTS.

The last day of testing is a week before school ends, a Friday and he ends his test at around 4 in the afternoon. His group of friends finished their tests before him and were sitting in the corridor outside of his potions classroom waiting for him. Luna was tucked into Ginny's side reading a book, upside down of course, Ginny lightly dozing with her head against the wall. Ron and Hermione sat facing each other with a card game spread out in front of them. Pansy and Neville sat on the far end of the group sharing earbuds and listening to Lunas mp3 player. Draco was the first to notice him, looking up from his sketch book and nudged Ginny. "Harry! You did it!" Ron cheers and Harry laughs. "We have a surprise for everyone," Luna says and Ginny smiles pulling the basket that sat next to her into her lap. They'd planned a picnic.

Somehow, he’d actually managed to pull of an O on his Defense NEWT. Harry and his friends were sitting in the living room at Grimmauld place a week after school when the results came in. Somehow, Harry’s home became home to all eight of them, there was more than enough room. Ginny and Luna shared a room, Ron and Hermione shared a room and other than that everyone had their own. Kreacher had passed out the mail, Ron ripping into his immediately and the others following his lead.

“Bloody hell,” comes from Neville. “I kicked arse!” Neville yells after that, the room going from tense to filled with laughter. Draco gets an O in potions to no one surprise, Luna an O in her magical creatures Newt, Hermione got an O in well, everything. Harry hasn’t opened his yet, he finds his hands shaking and Luna sits next to him. Harry hands it to her in a silent plea for her to open it for him and she does, hands it back with a smile. “Harry?” Draco asks softly from his seat across the room, Harry looks up and smiles. “I got an O.” 

A few months later, about a month before school starts and he’ll head back to Hogwarts, not as a student but as a professors assistant, someone comes barreling down the stairs. ”Harry! Harry!” The person yells and he recognizes it as Draco and meets him and the bottom of the stairs, Draco nearly falls and Harry catches him. “Slughorn wrote me back! He said he picked me to study under him!” Draco says, so excited he could burst and Harry embraces him. “I’m so proud of you! That’s so great, Draco!” Harry’s equally excited, for a few selfish reasons.

Even though he’ll still live at Grimmauld with all of them, he’ll be able to see Draco daily still, and all he’s ever wanted was for Draco to be happy. Maybe he’s known it for a while, maybe it started that day when Florence had nudged him into Draco, maybe the night he’d almost kissed him and fallen asleep in the common room together instead, however long it’s been, it’s come to a point. As he’s smiling at Draco, looking at him tell their friends, excited and hopeful for his future, Harry realizes he’s falling in love with him. 


	4. the start of the rest of our lives.

Before he knows it, it’s been a year. Ron and Hermione had begun looking for an apartment for just the two of them, Luna and Ginny had as well. Pansy spent more time at her girlfriends, Jen, than she did at home, and Neville had met someone. Their name is Nia, Neville had carefully explained that they weren’t a girl or a boy they were non-binary. Neville was happy, Harry could tell and he was so incredibly proud of him for it, Neville had struggled so long and he deserved happiness.

He doesn’t know what keeps him from telling Draco, aside from the paralyzing fear his love is unrequited. Draco goes on a few dates here and there, never really bringing anyone home until last week. Some bloke Harry’d never met spent the night, Harry cast a silencing charm on his walls that night and couldn’t meet Draco's eyes the next morning. He’d been skillfully avoiding him for a week now, at home, at work and even at all their meals. Pansy suggests they go out for coffee, just the two of them, and Harry agrees unaware of the confrontation coming his way. 

They go to a little muggle shop next to Pansys tattoo parlor, she’d become a full time tattoo artist and she was bloody good at it. Once they’re seated Pansy stares him down with her infamous Parkinson glare. “Okay, what exactly did I do to deserve your wrath?” Harry asks over his cup and she furrows his brow. “You know exactly what you’re doing, Harry,” Pansy starts and Harry must look confused because she rolls her eyes. “You’ve been avoiding and ignoring Draco all week!” Shit. Shit shit shit. Harry really thought no one had noticed. “Want to offer a solid reason for your sudden acting like a prat?” Harry sighs and sets down his coffee. “Only if this conversation never leaves this building,” he says and Pansy scowls but nods.

“He brought home a bloke and I just,” He looks down at his hands. “I’m so utterly jealous I feel like vomiting or crying and I don’t know what to do,” he lets out in almost a whisper. Pansy kicks him under the table. “You idiot!” Harry looks offended, Pansy just laughs in exasperation.

“He’s only dating because he thinks he doesn’t have a chance with you.” She’s joking. She’s gotta be joking. Right? There’s no way. Draco would’ve said something by now, but then again he’s been holding all this in for two years. “He wants me?” Harry whispers and Pansy crosses her arms. “You really didn’t know?” She asks after a moment and Harry resists the urge to smack his head on the table. “Merlin, no, I’d have swept him off his feet by now,” Harry says and Pansy stands abruptly. “So why don’t you?” 

Harry basically runs to the back of the building before he apparates back to the house, Pansy following right behind him probably curious to see what happens. It’s a Saturday which generally means everyone’s home, Draco’s probably reading in the garden. Harry breaks out into a sprint to the garden, almost knocking Luna over and yelling a ‘sorry!’ behind him as he bursts out the back door. “Draco?” He yells a little bit before seeing him, he’s sitting on the swinging bench overlooking the lilies.

“You alright there?” Draco asks as Harry walks up to him. “Never better, say what are your plans for tomorrow?” Draco looks a bit confused. “Nothing much, why?” Harry smiles. “Would you like to go on a date with me?” He asks suddenly a bit unsure of himself. Draco’s cheeks go a bit pink and he nods. Harry, satisfies with himself, plops down next to him. “Why now?” Draco inquires. “Cause I found out my crush wasn’t so hopeless,” Harry smiles at Pansy, who’s looking out through the window. 

The blonde boy laughs lightly and tucks a curl behind Harry’s ear. His mind goes back to that time in the common room, when Draco had pulled him into his chest. This time though, this time Draco pulls him in and kisses him, gently at first and then Harry feels his tongue asking for permission and can’t help but grant it. Eventually they have to break apart to breathe and rest their foreheads together, before they break out laughing.

“We could’ve been doing that for two years,” Draco says when he stops laughing. “I’m so fuckin dumb,” Harry mumbles, leaning in for another kiss. He can’t help but smile into this one. Harry’s had their first date planned for years, he just never thought it’d actually happen.

They take his, formerly Sirius’, motorcycle to a diner Draco absolutely adores. They get breakfast for dinner, french toast and coffee. They talk about everything and nothing the entire time, it’s the best date Harry has ever been on. They hold hands as they walk through the muggle streets, headed to a music shop. Harry buys Draco a few CD’s and they kiss in the back corner like teenagers. 

The students find out pretty soon after that, about a month into their relationship a fourth year sees them snogging in an otherwise deserted hallway, and runs off the tell the entire school. Surprisingly they don’t catch many homophobic insults thrown their way, they do however see a lot of the staff begrudgingly paying each other. A lot of them seemed to have bet against Mcgonagall and Hagrid, all lost of course.

Harry tells Draco he loves him for the first time on the thestrals grounds, with Florences head on his lap, hearing her soft snores. Draco decides they should share a room one day in the three broomsticks. Eventually everyone moves out of Grimmauld except for them. “We should move,” Harry says quietly over breakfast one day, seemingly thinking to himself. Draco looks up at him, curious. “This house is too big,” Harry starts to explain. “I don’t think we need all this space for the two of us till we start a family.” Draco gapes at him. “You want a family with me?” He asks quietly and Harry meets his eyes with a smile. “My love, I want everything with you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> i rlly rewatched all of the harry potter series and am back on my soft bullshit


End file.
